Category Archives: Whimsy

Man wanted for Punching out a Dancin’ Santa and Ripping Off its Head

detail from security footage

The scene: Cowboy Up Saloon, Fort Myers, Florida. Police are seeking information on a man who was caught on camera punching a Dancin’ Santa that was on display at the popular Cowboy Up Saloon downtown in the Fort Myers River District. A man standing at the bar suddenly turns, punches the Santa display to the ground, knocking off its head. The footage is shocking, except its just a robot, so nobody gets hurt!

It’s not the first attack we’ve had on a holiday icon in Fort Myers… several years ago the Easter Bunny was attacked at the Edison Mall. That character was played by a real person, who was fortunately ok. Um… I guess ‘don’t punch holiday characters’ needs to be said.

CCSO had to Fish a Truck out of the Pond at the Jail

One of the officers working at the Charlotte County Jail spotted a pickup truck floating in the pond in front of the jail Tuesday night. He approached a man standing there watching it, but the man was uncooperative and walked awawy. Deputies were afraid that someone might have been in the truck, and jumped in the pond, but it had sunk too deep for them to reach. A dive team was called, the truck fished out, and fortunately there was nobody inside.

Tristin Murphy

Deputies located the man who walked away, Tristin Murphy. Murphy denied any knowledge of the truck, but was arrested for Littering of Over 500 Pounds of Hazardous Material. I think they will have a proof problem charging him with dumping just because he was watching it sink, unless they can find some more evidence to link him to the truck. (It’s unclear if the truck was his, maybe there was an envelope with his name on it.) And while the truck contains oil, gas, and other fluids… I’m not sure if it meets the statutory definition of ‘Hazardous Waste‘. While it looks bad, the dude has some defenses an attorney can work with. Either way, he is facing a felony littering charge, which could potentially impair his ability to serve in the army and get his fingerprints sent to Washington, provided Officer Obie took the 27 glossy colored photographs to convict him.

Finally, I couldn’t help but notice that CCSO describes the pond as a ‘catfish pond,’ which begs the question… how is the fishing? Do the inmates get to give it a whirl? Do they stock it. The pond outside the Lee County airport reportedly has excellent fishing, but you don’t have to take my word for it.

Should a Life Sentence Be Over After Someone Dies?

Benjamin Schreiber

A prisoner in Iowa says he should be released after dying an having died and having to be revived at the hospital. Benjamin Schreiber says he was sentenced to life in prison, not life and one day more. His argument was bolstered by the fact that he had signed a do not resuscitate form, and even his brother had told the doctors not to do anything more than make him comfortable. The Iowa Supreme Court denied his claim, and he will continue to serve his prison sentence.

The appellate court wrote in their opinion, “Schreiber is either still alive, in which case he must remain in prison, or he is actually dead, in which case this appeal is moot.” While he has an interesting argument that his sentence had been fulfilled, he will have to wait it out on the inside.

DUI on a Segway, It Happened in Florida

Andy Sigears

Andy Sigears was arrested last week for driving a Segway under the influence in Davenport, Florida. He was driving it right down a road, just down from where a Sheriff’s substation is located. Deputies say he was swerving, unsteady, and impeded traffic. He admitted he had drunk two bottles of wine, and blew .243, .220 & .238 on a breath test. Florida gives at least two tests, and would have administered a third since the first two were more than .02 apart. The legal limit to operate a vehicle is .08… and a Segway has wheels, so it is definitely a vehicle under the law in Florida!

Check out some more odd DUI cases here: weirddui

Amish Buggy Drinking and Driving Case Ends in Flight

So… a deputy in rural Ohio noticed an Amish buggy rolling down the street, and spotted a 12-pack of Michelob Ultra on the back, so he decided to pull it over. The occupants of the buggy ran off into the woods, and authorities are still looking for them. The horses continued walking down the road, but the officer was able to safely corral them. Not only did they have a case of beer, they apparently outfitted the buggy with a bangin’ sound system and there was a case of Twisted Tea found inside, too. The buggy was taken to a neighboring farm to care for the horses and law enforcement is waiting for someone to claim them.

Mich Ultra not pictured

Yes, it is possible to get a DUI on a buggy. It is a vehicle, even though it is being pulled by horses. You can get a DUI on any vehicle, including lawnmowers, scooters, and even motorized wheelchairs. You can’t get a DUI on a horse in Florida, since it’s not a vehicle, but a buggy like this would definitely qualify under Florida law. No arrests were made, as the suspects got away. Apparently there have been several buggy DUI cases I had not been alterted to

More weirddui stories here.

College QB charged with Drugs for the Bird Poo on his Hood

This poor kid literally got arrested for some shit on his car…

screen capture of body cam of the car hood

Shai Werts, who is the starting QB for Georgia Southern University, and has a game scheduled against LSU in a few weeks, was pulled over for speeding in South Carolina, near his home. Officers noticed a white substance on his hood, and thought it was cocaine. Why somebody would drive down the highway with their cocaine on the hood is beyond me, but officers tested it with a presumptive field test which gave them a positive result for the presence of cocaine. Presumptive field tests are not reliable and, for that reason, are not admissible in court. Fortunately, the poo was sent to a lab which has confirmed that it is not drugs, and charges against Wert have been dropped.

Werts was suspended from the team, though he passed a drug test and has since been reinstated. You can watch the in-car video on News Maven here around the 15-minute point. Bonus on the car video, the cops start interrogating Werts in custody without informing his Miranda rights, which they don’t read until near the end of this clip. Even if he had made an admission, it would have been inadmissible thanks to poop-cops’ eagerness to confront him. Body cam clip on WTOC here.

The Easter Bunny Jumped in a Fight on Video, in Florida, Of Course

Scene, Orlando, Florida… Easter Day, 2019. Some guy gets in a fight with a lady and who jumps in to help… none other than the Easter Bunny!

I wish there were some more details or some context… but on the other hand, the video of the giant bunny hopping to the lady’s rescue is kind of amazing by itself.

This is not the first Easter Bunny fight… we had a mall bunny fight here in Fort Myers back in 2006! Here’s my retro story on that bunny-battle.

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