Category Archives: Whimsy

Maryland Deputy Shoots Groundhog

“This is not happening right now.”

gopher

A Maryland Deputy had a standoff in the road with an angry groundhog: the officer tries to scare the rodent out of the roadway, and the groundhog responds aggressively. I’m not kidding… the groundhog actually charged at him. The deputy then shoots the groundhog, and then shoots him a second time to finish him off before the video concludes.

The video is shocking, and while it immediately look like an improper use of force, the reality is that the deputy does not know if that groundhog is rabid or otherwise dangerous, and he does not have to wait to find out, under the law. It almost certainly could have been handled differently, but this is facially a justified use of force case. On a gopher.

Here’s the video: it is graphic:

Sounds like this deputy was trained by Chief Sandy McFiddish:

Can’t help but think of the old South Park “It’s coming right for us!” I’ve said it before, good work, Jimbo!

Jimbo

Uncle Jimbo – Fighting Off the Dangerous Animals

Of course, Bull Murray advanced his career killing groundhogs:

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Kansas Man Arrested for Sex with Car

tailpipeFriday Fun on a Monday!

Newton (Kansas) police responded to reports of a naked man underneath a car. When they arrived, they say the man was trying to, ahem, stick his penis in the tailpipe of the vehicle. Police have requested charges for a lewd and lascivious act. The man was drunk, and probably on something else, and had to be tasered when he refused to stop having sex with the car.

SNL’s Colin Jost nailed it: “The sex was described as… exhausting.”

You could say it was… shocking.

I should point out that this case has the requisite lasciviousness likely to proceed criminal that do not appear to be there for the serial pooper we covered last week, or the vagrant pooper our police chief collared a while back.

And hey, two stories in a row that didn’t happen in Florida! #onlyinkansas #fridayfun : on Monday

Friday Fun: Serial School Pooper turns out to be a Superintendent

thomas-tramaglini

Thomas Tramaglini

An overnight pooper had been striking at a track at a New Jersey high school. Feces had been found on the track daily, and authorities set up a surveillance operation to determine who had been leaving the presents every morning. Holmdel, NJ police caught the serial pooper in the act, and it turned out to be Thomas Tramaglini, who just happened to the superintendent of the neighboring Kenilworth school district. There’s been no comment, and no explanation as to why Tramaglini felt the need to leave little gifts on his morning run.

Tramaglini, 42, has been charged with lewdness and, naturally… littering. He may have  a defense to the lewdness charge, which generally requires doing so with the intent of it being observed by other people, and there’s no indication that he wanted to be observed. The littering charge… that’s the kicker!

Friday Fun: Florida Woman Blames Wind for Cocaine in her Car

kenneshia posey

Kenneshia Posey

A Fort Pierce woman had a unique excuse for the cocaine officers found in her car last week. Officers found Marijuana and Cocaine in the vehicle Kenneshia Posey was riding in with another person. When they asked her, she admitted the marijuana was hers, but denied knowing anything about the baggie of cocaine. When the officer asked how it got in her purse, she replied, “I don’t know anything about any cocaine. It’s a windy day. It must have flown through the window and into my purse.”

Officers were apparently unimpressed, as she was arrested and charged for both the marijuana and the cocaine.

This has gotta be some kind of Speed Trap

My cousin Nadine spotted these speed limit signs in Fishers, IN. This does not appear to be regulation…

fishers

photo courtesy: Nadine Jordan

My first thought is that this really looks like a trick situation, and totally not fair. Then my defense attorney instincts kicked in, and I thought, this is not enforceable! She said it had been up for a good week at last report, in the meantime, drive with caution!

Friday Fun- Robber Attempts to Stick-Up 7-11 Convenience Store with only his Finger

7-Eleven attempted robbery 3It’s like something out of a movie. A Cohen Brothers movie!

A few days ago, a young man walked into a Bonita Springs 7-11 with a shirt wrapped around his face. He wanted to hold the place up, but didn’t have a weapon, and tried to use his finger to scare the clerks. Maybe he meant to put it in his pocket, but whatever the case, he 7-Eleven attempted robbery 1wasn’t too scary because they could see that all he had was a finger that he was waving around! He didn’t get any money, but trying to rob a store is still a crime and deputies are still on the lookout for the attempted robber!

7-Eleven attempted robbery 2

Dominoes-Sex Couple Avoids Jail

dominoes 2

Craig Smith and Daniella Hirst

daniella hirst

Daniella Hirst

A frisky British couple got busted a few weeks back for having sex in the Dominoes lobby while they waited for their pizza. Their escapade got caught on the store’s surveillance camera, and eventually came to the attention of authorities. They were charged with acts that outraged public decency. The couple, Daniella Hirst, 29, and her boyfriend, Craig Smith, 31, seemed to revel in the exposure, even posing for some flirty pictures for the media. Clearly, much booze was involved.

Their tuned changed when the went before the court. Hirst pleaded guilty while Smith was found guilty after an evidentiary hearing. Yesterday they appeared for sentencing, and were ultimately spared jail. However, they got 12 months of supervision, including 23 weeks of in-home curfew, which may significantly inhibit their romantic adventures.

The video is below- needless to say NSFW (not safe for work)