Samantha Mears, allegedly a 19-year old lunatic in Montana, has been arrested and charged with suprising her ex-boyfriend, holding him hostage with a machete, and forcing him to have sex with her. He says she had broken in, and when he came home she confronted him from behind and held him hostage with the machete. She then made him lie on the bed, take his pants off, and she got on top of him and initiated sexual intercourse against his will. He called police, pretending to call his friend “Doug”, and police came and arrested her. She claims to have been kidnapped, but the man provided a photo of her on the bed with the machete, and a bite mark on his arm.
There’s almost certainly something more going on here, though there is apparently a history of violence from her to him. However, they did not charge her with sexual assault (rape) or burglary, which would seem to be indicated by the allegations. Also, they say the couple had been dating for 7 years, which is a pretty long time for a 19-year old. So, some things sound fishy, to say the least. Regardless, it’s a pretty spectacular allegation.
“This is not happening right now.”
A Maryland Deputy had a standoff in the road with an angry groundhog: the officer tries to scare the rodent out of the roadway, and the groundhog responds aggressively. I’m not kidding… the groundhog actually charged at him. The deputy then shoots the groundhog, and then shoots him a second time to finish him off before the video concludes.
The video is shocking, and while it immediately look like an improper use of force, the reality is that the deputy does not know if that groundhog is rabid or otherwise dangerous, and he does not have to wait to find out, under the law. It almost certainly could have been handled differently, but this is facially a justified use of force case. On a gopher.
Here’s the video: it is graphic:
Sounds like this deputy was trained by Chief Sandy McFiddish:
Can’t help but think of the old South Park “It’s coming right for us!” I’ve said it before, good work, Jimbo!
Uncle Jimbo – Fighting Off the Dangerous Animals
Of course, Bull Murray advanced his career killing groundhogs:
Friday Fun on a Monday!
Newton (Kansas) police responded to reports of a naked man underneath a car. When they arrived, they say the man was trying to, ahem, stick his penis in the tailpipe of the vehicle. Police have requested charges for a lewd and lascivious act. The man was drunk, and probably on something else, and had to be tasered when he refused to stop having sex with the car.
SNL’s Colin Jost nailed it: “The sex was described as… exhausting.”
You could say it was… shocking.
I should point out that this case has the requisite lasciviousness likely to proceed criminal that do not appear to be there for the serial pooper we covered last week, or the vagrant pooper our police chief collared a while back.
And hey, two stories in a row that didn’t happen in Florida! #onlyinkansas #fridayfun : on Monday
An overnight pooper had been striking at a track at a New Jersey high school. Feces had been found on the track daily, and authorities set up a surveillance operation to determine who had been leaving the presents every morning. Holmdel, NJ police caught the serial pooper in the act, and it turned out to be Thomas Tramaglini, who just happened to the superintendent of the neighboring Kenilworth school district. There’s been no comment, and no explanation as to why Tramaglini felt the need to leave little gifts on his morning run.
Tramaglini, 42, has been charged with lewdness and, naturally… littering. He may have a defense to the lewdness charge, which generally requires doing so with the intent of it being observed by other people, and there’s no indication that he wanted to be observed. The littering charge… that’s the kicker!
A Fort Pierce woman had a unique excuse for the cocaine officers found in her car last week. Officers found Marijuana and Cocaine in the vehicle Kenneshia Posey was riding in with another person. When they asked her, she admitted the marijuana was hers, but denied knowing anything about the baggie of cocaine. When the officer asked how it got in her purse, she replied, “I don’t know anything about any cocaine. It’s a windy day. It must have flown through the window and into my purse.”
Officers were apparently unimpressed, as she was arrested and charged for both the marijuana and the cocaine.
My cousin Nadine spotted these speed limit signs in Fishers, IN. This does not appear to be regulation…
photo courtesy: Nadine Jordan
My first thought is that this really looks like a trick situation, and totally not fair. Then my defense attorney instincts kicked in, and I thought, this is not enforceable! She said it had been up for a good week at last report, in the meantime, drive with caution!
It’s like something out of a movie. A Cohen Brothers movie!
A few days ago, a young man walked into a Bonita Springs 7-11 with a shirt wrapped around his face. He wanted to hold the place up, but didn’t have a weapon, and tried to use his finger to scare the clerks. Maybe he meant to put it in his pocket, but whatever the case, he wasn’t too scary because they could see that all he had was a finger that he was waving around! He didn’t get any money, but trying to rob a store is still a crime and deputies are still on the lookout for the attempted robber!