Category Archives: Whimsy

Should a Life Sentence Be Over After Someone Dies?

Benjamin Schreiber

A prisoner in Iowa says he should be released after dying an having died and having to be revived at the hospital. Benjamin Schreiber says he was sentenced to life in prison, not life and one day more. His argument was bolstered by the fact that he had signed a do not resuscitate form, and even his brother had told the doctors not to do anything more than make him comfortable. The Iowa Supreme Court denied his claim, and he will continue to serve his prison sentence.

The appellate court wrote in their opinion, “Schreiber is either still alive, in which case he must remain in prison, or he is actually dead, in which case this appeal is moot.” While he has an interesting argument that his sentence had been fulfilled, he will have to wait it out on the inside.

DUI on a Segway, It Happened in Florida

Andy Sigears

Andy Sigears was arrested last week for driving a Segway under the influence in Davenport, Florida. He was driving it right down a road, just down from where a Sheriff’s substation is located. Deputies say he was swerving, unsteady, and impeded traffic. He admitted he had drunk two bottles of wine, and blew .243, .220 & .238 on a breath test. Florida gives at least two tests, and would have administered a third since the first two were more than .02 apart. The legal limit to operate a vehicle is .08… and a Segway has wheels, so it is definitely a vehicle under the law in Florida!

Check out some more odd DUI cases here: weirddui

Amish Buggy Drinking and Driving Case Ends in Flight

So… a deputy in rural Ohio noticed an Amish buggy rolling down the street, and spotted a 12-pack of Michelob Ultra on the back, so he decided to pull it over. The occupants of the buggy ran off into the woods, and authorities are still looking for them. The horses continued walking down the road, but the officer was able to safely corral them. Not only did they have a case of beer, they apparently outfitted the buggy with a bangin’ sound system and there was a case of Twisted Tea found inside, too. The buggy was taken to a neighboring farm to care for the horses and law enforcement is waiting for someone to claim them.

Mich Ultra not pictured

Yes, it is possible to get a DUI on a buggy. It is a vehicle, even though it is being pulled by horses. You can get a DUI on any vehicle, including lawnmowers, scooters, and even motorized wheelchairs. You can’t get a DUI on a horse in Florida, since it’s not a vehicle, but a buggy like this would definitely qualify under Florida law. No arrests were made, as the suspects got away. Apparently there have been several buggy DUI cases I had not been alterted to

More weirddui stories here.

College QB charged with Drugs for the Bird Poo on his Hood

This poor kid literally got arrested for some shit on his car…

screen capture of body cam of the car hood

Shai Werts, who is the starting QB for Georgia Southern University, and has a game scheduled against LSU in a few weeks, was pulled over for speeding in South Carolina, near his home. Officers noticed a white substance on his hood, and thought it was cocaine. Why somebody would drive down the highway with their cocaine on the hood is beyond me, but officers tested it with a presumptive field test which gave them a positive result for the presence of cocaine. Presumptive field tests are not reliable and, for that reason, are not admissible in court. Fortunately, the poo was sent to a lab which has confirmed that it is not drugs, and charges against Wert have been dropped.

Werts was suspended from the team, though he passed a drug test and has since been reinstated. You can watch the in-car video on News Maven here around the 15-minute point. Bonus on the car video, the cops start interrogating Werts in custody without informing his Miranda rights, which they don’t read until near the end of this clip. Even if he had made an admission, it would have been inadmissible thanks to poop-cops’ eagerness to confront him. Body cam clip on WTOC here.

The Easter Bunny Jumped in a Fight on Video, in Florida, Of Course

Scene, Orlando, Florida… Easter Day, 2019. Some guy gets in a fight with a lady and who jumps in to help… none other than the Easter Bunny!

I wish there were some more details or some context… but on the other hand, the video of the giant bunny hopping to the lady’s rescue is kind of amazing by itself.

This is not the first Easter Bunny fight… we had a mall bunny fight here in Fort Myers back in 2006! Here’s my retro story on that bunny-battle.

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Spate of Burrito Attacks in, Where Else, Florida

peter elacqua

Peter Elacqua

Just a few days before Valentine’s Day, Peter Elacqua of Port Richey was arrested for striking his girlfriend with a burrito. They got in an argument, and while in the bedroom, he pushed her into

peter elacqua2

Elacqua in 2017

a chair and threw his burrito at her. He fled before cops arrived, and she still had bits of burrito on her when the cops arrived. They tracked down Elacqua a few days later, and arrested him and charged him with domestic battery. Elacqua has an extensive arrest history, including the mug shot at right. Apparently, his being Ninja hasn’t kept him out of jail.

victor fosser

Victor Fosser

This was the second burrito attack in as many months. In January, Victor Fosser of Parrish, Florida, was charged with domestic battery for smashing a burrito in his wife’s face during an argument over a family issue. It is a crime to touch or strike anyone against their will, and that includes food. It’s at least the third burrito battery we’ve covered at Crimcourts… it’s getting to the point where Mexican food attacks are becoming commonplace. Still illegal, though.

Croc-wearing Crocodile Jumper Florida Man gets a Year in Jail

Brandon HatfieldCredit: SJSO

Brandon Hatfield: Crocodile Jumper

We introduced you to Brandon Hatfield a few months ago– the croc-wearing guy who jumped into a crocodile pit at a St. Augustine alligator park, and got bitten, was arrested after he was found almost-naked in a lady’s front yard. He got brandon hatfield footsentenced last week, and he got dinged pretty good. Hatfield was sentenced to a year in jail, followed by 2 years of community control (similar to house arrest), in addition to being ordered to pay over $5000 in restitution for the damage he caused. He was charged with trespass and criminal mischief for the alligator park escapade, but he was already on probation for something else, which is probably why he got so much time in jail.

No animals were injured, but Hatfield nearly lost his foot after the incident. Apparently the whole escapade was due to his drug use, so hopefully this will serve as a wake-up call and he will get help for his substance-abuse issues. Court image via Beth Rousseau:

 

And in case you didn’t see the video, here’s a clip with highlights: