Category Archives: Whimsy

Dominoes-Sex Couple Avoids Jail

dominoes 2

Craig Smith and Daniella Hirst

daniella hirst

Daniella Hirst

A frisky British couple got busted a few weeks back for having sex in the Dominoes lobby while they waited for their pizza. Their escapade got caught on the store’s surveillance camera, and eventually came to the attention of authorities. They were charged with acts that outraged public decency. The couple, Daniella Hirst, 29, and her boyfriend, Craig Smith, 31, seemed to revel in the exposure, even posing for some flirty pictures for the media. Clearly, much booze was involved.

Their tuned changed when the went before the court. Hirst pleaded guilty while Smith was found guilty after an evidentiary hearing. Yesterday they appeared for sentencing, and were ultimately spared jail. However, they got 12 months of supervision, including 23 weeks of in-home curfew, which may significantly inhibit their romantic adventures.

The video is below- needless to say NSFW (not safe for work)

Advertisements

‘Welcome to Key West’ sign “Returned” in Fort Myers

key west signThe iconic “Welcome to Key West” sign that greeted visitors as a “Welcome to Paradise” when they drove into the island city was knocked down after Hurricane Irma. Somebody made off with it in the days after the storm, and the Key West Rotary club made multiple pleas for the sign to be returned. Well, the ‘thieves’, or maybe they were safe-keepers, had second thoughts, and dropped the sign off at the Key West Express at the Fort Myers Beach depot this morning. Wink News happened to be on hand for a story about the Express, and went live with footage of the sign being loaded onto the Key West Express, who are taking it back to Key West today. That’s one way to get a scoop!

A Justice in the Judge’s Chambers

All Rise! Rookie superstar Aaron Judge has taken New York by storm this season, and the Yankees created a section in the outfield for his fans, called the “Judge’s Chambers”. They have people dress up in black robes and powdered wigs, and they go nuts when he comes up to bat. It’s fun!

This week, Supreme Court Justice, and lifelong Yankee fan, Sonia Sotomayor took in a game and naturally, she sat in the Judge’s Chambers. Looks like she had a great time, too! Even though Judge has been slumping since he destroyed everyone at the Home Run Derby, the Yanks took one from the Sox.

blog pics

Florida Man to Use Penis Defense in Murder Trial

Richard Patterson

Richard Patterson

When I heard about this murder case, I was confused because I also heard it was a choking case. Horrifically, I was not given bad information: it is a choking case, and Richard Patterson claims the woman choked on his member. Trial is underway, and Patterson’s attorney argued a motion to allow the jury to see his penis. Reportedly, the state does not object: what can they say if that is the defense he claims. Defendants have broad latitude to present and argue their defenses.

At issue is whether or not the penis will be erect… The state argues that it should be erect, for proper context. That actually kind of makes since, as the Defendant is arguing that she accidentally choked while giving him oral sex. It appears there will be no dispute that she was otherwise healthy and died of asphyxiation, but to prove second degree murder, the state will have to show that the defendant cased the death by an act that was “imminently dangerous” AND “demonstrating  a depraved mind without regard for human life”. An accidental death during consensual sexual activity would not meet this standard, though the State is likely to argue that his story doesn’t make sense. The Defendant indicated in his motion that they intend to call the Broward Medical Examiner who will testify the death is “consistent” with accidental asphyxiation during oral sex. This could end up being the trial of the year…

The trial started yesterday, and a jury has been selected. The judge has not ruled whether the penis will need to be erect for the jury demonstration. The death occurred in Broward county in 2015, and Patterson is facing life in prison if convicted.

Man Arrested after Running into Burning Home to Save his Beer

A South Dakota man was arrested after he allegedly pushed past firefighters to reenter a burning apartment to retrieve his beer. And it wasn’t even good beer, it was just a couple of cans of Bud Ice Premium. Michael Anthony Casteel is facing charges for obstructing law enforcement and and for obstructing  a firefighter for his little stunt. The naysayers will point out that it’s his life, why can’t he risk it if the beer is so important, but it’s a risk to the emergency crew that might have to follow him in if he gets in trouble in the fire. And no was is it worth risking your life for some beers, especially for a couple cans of Bud Ice!

TSG reports he’s had two DUI arrests in the last 13 months, plus a a domestic charge that was dismissed: no doubt alcohol related. And it’s not the first time reporters have covered something like this happening:

 

Remember When the Mall Easter Bunny Got Arrested?

The scene, Edison Mall, 2006. They have an Easter Bunny area where families could come and get their picture taken with the Easter Bunny. 27 parents were lined up when the Bunny-manager decided to shut down for the day, 15 minutes early. One of the parents approached the manager and asked why, to which the manager replied, “because I felt like it”, and punched the mom in the face. When the bunny saw the manager involved in a fight, he jumped in and started punching the mom in the back of the head.

arthur mcclure easter bunny

Arthur McClure, the Rogue Rabbit

The Bunny, Art McClure, claims that he and the manager, his girlfriend, were acting in self-defense when the “mob of angry soccer moms” came after them. Ultimately, McClure was charged with misdemeanor battery and breach of the peace, and pled out  to time served on the charges a couple weeks later. The responding officer got statements from half a dozen of the parents, who all indicated McClure and his girlfriend were the aggressors. It’s like Bad Santa for another season!

It’s too bad that cell phone cameras were not as common then, and even the snapshots that were taken don’t seem to have made it to the internet. McClure’s listed occupation on the arrest report is “Easter Bunny”, though this was his last day on the job.

Man Arrested for DUI Wearing ‘Hold My Beer’ Shirt

 

harrison wootton

Harrison Wootton

We can add another ridiculous shirt to the ones people have been wearing when they got arrested. Harrison Wootton, a 25-year old from Connecticut, was arrested for a DUI while wearing a shirt that reads “Hold My Beer and Watch This”. “This” apparently entailed getting behind the wheel of an unregistered motor vehicle, losing control and crashing into the stone wall surrounding a cemetery. He then proceeded to try to flee the scene as officers arrived, but was apprehended and charged.

Geez, man, how do you hit a cemetery?

drunk lives matterThat’s the second incriminating DUI shirt mug shot in just a few weeks, after our friend from St. Patrick’s Day.

Or this guy…