Category Archives: Whimsy

The Easter Bunny Jumped in a Fight on Video, in Florida, Of Course

Scene, Orlando, Florida… Easter Day, 2019. Some guy gets in a fight with a lady and who jumps in to help… none other than the Easter Bunny!

I wish there were some more details or some context… but on the other hand, the video of the giant bunny hopping to the lady’s rescue is kind of amazing by itself.

This is not the first Easter Bunny fight… we had a mall bunny fight here in Fort Myers back in 2006! Here’s my retro story on that bunny-battle.

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Spate of Burrito Attacks in, Where Else, Florida

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Peter Elacqua

Just a few days before Valentine’s Day, Peter Elacqua of Port Richey was arrested for striking his girlfriend with a burrito. They got in an argument, and while in the bedroom, he pushed her into

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Elacqua in 2017

a chair and threw his burrito at her. He fled before cops arrived, and she still had bits of burrito on her when the cops arrived. They tracked down Elacqua a few days later, and arrested him and charged him with domestic battery. Elacqua has an extensive arrest history, including the mug shot at right. Apparently, his being Ninja hasn’t kept him out of jail.

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Victor Fosser

This was the second burrito attack in as many months. In January, Victor Fosser of Parrish, Florida, was charged with domestic battery for smashing a burrito in his wife’s face during an argument over a family issue. It is a crime to touch or strike anyone against their will, and that includes food. It’s at least the third burrito battery we’ve covered at Crimcourts… it’s getting to the point where Mexican food attacks are becoming commonplace. Still illegal, though.

Croc-wearing Crocodile Jumper Florida Man gets a Year in Jail

Brandon HatfieldCredit: SJSO

Brandon Hatfield: Crocodile Jumper

We introduced you to Brandon Hatfield a few months ago– the croc-wearing guy who jumped into a crocodile pit at a St. Augustine alligator park, and got bitten, was arrested after he was found almost-naked in a lady’s front yard. He got brandon hatfield footsentenced last week, and he got dinged pretty good. Hatfield was sentenced to a year in jail, followed by 2 years of community control (similar to house arrest), in addition to being ordered to pay over $5000 in restitution for the damage he caused. He was charged with trespass and criminal mischief for the alligator park escapade, but he was already on probation for something else, which is probably why he got so much time in jail.

No animals were injured, but Hatfield nearly lost his foot after the incident. Apparently the whole escapade was due to his drug use, so hopefully this will serve as a wake-up call and he will get help for his substance-abuse issues. Court image via Beth Rousseau:

 

And in case you didn’t see the video, here’s a clip with highlights:

Underwear-clad Florida Man rolls around parking lot in an Office Chair

Deputies were called out to a parking lot in Bonita Springs for a naked man… and arrived to find him rolling around in an office chair. He had on nothing but underwear and shoes. The man appeared to be drunk or high (duh), and there were complaints that some vehicles were damaged. However, nobody saw the man damage the vehicles, so he was released to relatives. They found his vehicle, with a bottle of booze in it, but didn’t see him driving the car. They also think he took furniture from a nearby Buffalo Wild Wings and scattered it around the parking lot.

I am disappointed here… they legally could have charged him with DUI on a rolling chair. It would be a crappy case, but this guy was itchin’ to get locked up. He was certainly drunk and disorderly. We don’t even get a mug shot out of it…

Be sure to check out the other weird DUIs we have covered.

DUI on a Golf Cart, and the Suspect Growled at Cops, and much, much more

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Parks Thornton Terry

Parks Terry, of St. Louis, Missouri, got WAY out of control on his recent Florida Keys vacation. It started out pretty typically: he had too much to drink and passed out in his vehicle. Being that he was on vacation in Key Largo, his vehicle was a golf cart. He was in town visiting his elderly mother. When he was awoken by a public safety officer, he drove off on the cart, weaving all over the road, first waving at the officer, and then flipping him off. It went downhill from there.

Terry got back to his mom’s house and locked the door. One of the public safety officers tried to force his way into the house, and Terry’s mother barricaded the door by leaning up against it, while Terry laid down and pushed it with his feet. Another officer entered through another door, and was attacked by Terry. As more officers and deputies responded, they ultimately attempted to taser Terry, who grabbed the stun gun. Deputies say that he was tacked, and growled at them like a dog, while rubbing his face on broken glass on the floor.

It several people to finally cuff Terry. They carried him out and placed him in the back of the patrol car, where he continued to lash out. He kicked the door and broke the handle and the window switch. He yelled obscenities at the deputy the whole ride to the substation, which was on a whole other island, Plantation Key, some 40 minutes or more away, with a pit stop at the hospital. Deputies report Terry suffered a dislocated shoulder at some point during the altercation. He is facing charges for Battery on a Law Enforcement Officer, Resisting with Violence, Fleeing, Criminal Mischief, and a DUI. All of those except the DUI are felonies.

It appears that the officers other than the deputies may be sworn officers. If they are merely security officers privately employed, Terry’s aggression toward them would not be protected like the deputies’. For instance, battery on a security guard wouldn’t qualify for the law enforcement enhancement, and fleeing is only a crime if a vehicle flees a sworn law enforcement officer. They may be sworn officers, but it’s uncertain. The DUI and fleeing charges can occur in any vehicle, so it would not be a defense for Terry that he was driving a golf cart, as we’ve seen before. Even if it was a sweet red custom job-golf cart! This appears to be the first DUI we’ve covered on a golf cart… congrats, Terry!

Hopefully some pictures and/or video will come out from this incident, and we’ll be sure to share them here.

Twins Arrested for Burglary: I wonder what their Defense Will Be?

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Douglas and David (or is is David and Douglas) Null

A pair of twins from Cape Coral, David and Douglas Null, have been arrested for burglary of a local business. Needless to say, there are challenges inherent in identifying the culprit anytime an alternative suspect can be identified. The article doesn’t explain why there were charged (there is also a juvenile co-defendant)… but I suspect I know what each of them will argue. They will have to get separate attorneys!

Happy New Year, Don’t be a Lawyer!

Haha, that sounds really dark… but it’s a not-so-secret fact that lawyerin’ isn’t as glamorous as it’s cracked up to be. I have dissuaded several young people, oftentimes as they are approaching college graduation and are unsure of what they are going to do next, that law school is not a good option unless that’s really what they want to do. 3 years and tens of thousands of dollars is a lot to spend, unless you really want to be a lawyer. And you can do a lot with a law degree, but if what you want to do is anything other than BEING a lawyer, you really don’t need that expensive degree. I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again, but this song from “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend” says it really, really well!

I’ve never seen the show before, but I am certainly a fan, now!