Tag Archives: not my pants

Do You Have to Wear Pants to Check the Mail?

  • Maryland Police Issued a Warning to people to wear pants when they check the mail
  • My legal advice: please wear pants

The Taneytown police department in Maryland was apparently having a lot of complaints about people checking their mail without pants on. It was enough of an issue that they had to announce a ‘final warning’ to residents to remind citizens not to check their mail whilst disrobed below the belt.

Funny sure, but there is a legitimate legal question there… is pantless mail-checking against the law. It just so happens that I have dealt with this specific matter before, so I may be the authority on it, at least in Florida. We had a case come in when I was a prosecutor; a man charged with indecent exposure for checking the mail sans pantaloons. My supervisor thought it was a good file, but I wasn’t so sure. We had an intern working at the office at the time, and I tasked him with the legal research. As I suspected, mere nudity did not rise to the level of indecent without some sort of lasciviousness. So, in Florida at least, pantless mail-checking is not criminal, without something else.

However, I recommend wearing pants when you go out for a couple of reasons. One, a less-informed law enforcement officer may think it is indecent, and you could go to jail until the legalities are sorted out. Also, I saw a guy get charged with indecent exposure for skinny dipping, because somebody said he was waving his winky at them. There’s room for dangerous misinterpretation if you are not wearing pants, so I’d advise everyone, if at all possible, to wear pants when they check their mail.

Woman who had a Gator in her Yoga Pants Sentenced

Ariel Marchan-Le Quire

A few weeks ago, we brought you the story of a Fort Myers woman who tried to hide an illegally taken alligator by stuffing it down her yoga pants. She also had several dozen turtles stuffed in a Ninja Turtles backpack. This week in Charlotte County Court, she entered a plea and was sentenced to 2 years of probation for several wildlife violations. She will also have to complete 200 community service hours and make a $500 donation to FWC’s Wildlife Alert fund. The money may be a challenge, as records indicate she is homeless. She missed her first court date and spent a little time in jail, probably because she couldn’t afford to bond out. Still, it’s important for wildlife protections to follow regulations on fishing or collecting wildlife.

Let this also serve as a reminder, as always, the ‘not my pants’ defense is not a strong claim.

The alligator, after pants-removal

Earlier coverage.

Lady has Drugs in Her, Ahem… Private Area – Claims they Aren’t Hers!

Ashley Roland

After police arrested Ashley Roland, she was searched by a corrections officer at the jail. That officer found a clear plastic bag with a gram of meth allegedly stashed in her vagina, along with more than $6000! Roland denied the drugs were hers! West Monroe, LA police arrested her and charged her anyway. Those charges were added to the pending theft charges that landed her in jail in the first place. A man said she had been at his apartment, but when he was taking a shower, she swiped his cash and left. Police indicate that Roland admitted to stealing the money… the drugs are a different story. It doesn’t say if the vagina money was equal to the stolen money, which would add to her difficult claim that the items in her did not belong to her. I’ve heard of the ole ‘not my pants’ defense… I guess this will be dubbed the ‘not my hoo-ha’ defense.

Addendum: Here’s a ‘not my butt’ defense rom a few months ago: https://twitter.com/crimcourts/status/1116388247507222531

The old ‘Not my pants’ defense…

James Edwin White, 30, of Grove City, FL

James Edwin White

A Grove City man was arrested Monday for possession of a controlled substance for pills in his pocket, but he says they aren’t his pants!  According to officers, James Edwin White claims he just threw on his uncle’s pants and didn’t know the pill was in there.  Officers also found a straw, consistent with those used to snort crushed pills.  He’s innocent until proven guilty, and he has a viable defense.  It sound silly, and he is presumed to have knowledge of the pills since they were in his actual possession, but that presumption is rebuttable.  If he can demonstrate the pants weren’t his, the prosecution will have difficulty proving knowledge of the pills.  I have heard of the ‘not my pants’ defense working on occasion.