Tag Archives: only in florida

Another Man Fleeing Cops Bitten by an Alligator

frequent gatorsIt seems this is becoming an all-too common trend for Florida Man. A Lakeland man lost part of an arm to a gator bite the other day, after jumping in a lake when his mom called the cops regarding a domestic disturbance. Apparently, this lake, which was near his mom’s house, even had a sign posted warning people about gators in the water.

Don’t run from the cops, kids. We have seen several cases that were even worse than this young man who lost three-quarters of his forearm. Not worth it. For more, check it out some previous stories, here and here on Crimcourts.

Have a fun, gator-bite-free weekend!

Man Cited for Alligator Parts Scattered Around Vehicle

alligator parts.jpg

photo courtesy FWC

Working to be your leading Alligator-law related blog, we bring you this story from the FWC. FWC officers stopped a man driving a truck through a wildlife management area to check for his day-use pass, only to find dismembered alligator parts stashed around his vehicle. Upon questioning, the man admitted he had recently killed the alligator without permission.

Alligators can now be legally hunted in Florida, like deer and other animals, but alligator hunts are closely regulated. Know your laws before you hunt… or fish: Florida takes wildlife management seriously.

And be sure of what you’re doing. Don’t be like Bryan Rohm. He was out hunting an alligator with his son (legally!) and thought he had killed it. He was sorely mistaken, and when he brought it in the boat, the alligator bit his thumb and jumped back into the water. He had shot the gator twice with the bang-stick, an alligator hunting device (basically it delivers a shotgun blast at point blank range), and wasn’t able to stop the thing. Alligators are badasses.

Burrito Battery!

Remember that scene in Animal House? Everybody remembers the “Food Fight!” scene, right? Remember where the frat guy got hit with food, then he stabbed the girl through the hand with a fork? No? What… it didn’t happen that way? Somebody must be doing food fights wrong…

burrito food fight

Carl Smith and Suzanne Hurlvert

Only in Florida… a Crestview woman hit her boyfriend with a half-eaten Taco Bell Burrito Supreme. The man she burritoed, Carl Smith, retaliated by stabbing her in the hand with his fork, and embedded it so deeply that it required surgery to remove. After she got the fork out of her hand, Suzanne Hurlvert was also arrested, and charged with battery for striking Smith with the food item. She’ll be facing a misdemeanor, while Smith will be facing felony aggravated battery charges, and presumptive prison time.

 

We’ve covered a lot of food batteries here on Crimcourtseven a McChicken, but this is the first burrito I’m aware of! Click here for more weirdbattery

 

New Details on the Naples Dog Sex Case

miranda johns

Miranda Johns

Yesterday we reported that 21-year-old Miranda Johns was arrested for multiple counts of sex acts with two dogs. More details have emerged in the case. The News-Press reports that the videos provided to deputies depict Ms. Johns having oral sex with two pet dogs. Johns had accused the man of sexual battery, and when they interviewed him, he denied the battery and showed them videos she had sent him of the bestial acts.

Let’s break this down… woman commits criminal sexual acts with two dogs. She records said criminal acts. She sends the recordings to a man. She later accuses the man of a criminal act. Man proceeds to show the videos to the cops. Woman is arrested. According to the Naples Daily News, she has sent the images to the man at his request. Oops. (NDN also reports that they were photos, not videos, though their headline says recording).

There’s no word on who owns the dogs, or their condition… though there is no indication they were harmed…

happy dog

Earlier story: https://crimcourts.wordpress.com/2016/03/22/naples-woman-arrested-for-sex-with-dogs/

Just Don’t Kick Animals, OK?

A Naples man was arrested last week for animal cruelty for kicking a cormorant on the Naples Pier. The bird took one of his fish, and he became enraged, and kicked it really hard. Apparently, the bird had substantial injuries after the incident, and is being treated by a rescue shelter. The man faces a felony charge for animal abuse.

It should go without saying… but I’ll say it, don’t hurt animals…

Florida Man’s Greatest Hits of 2015

Another year, another 365 days of crazy exploits from Florida Residents. Esquire has compiled some of their favorites, here: http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/news/a40729/year-in-florida-man-2015/

Truck Full of Sharks Crashes

According to the News 13 story, they were Sandbar Sharks (or brown sharks), which are common. That begs the question for me, why did local law enforcement prosecute somebody for catching one of them, but it’s no problem for 5 of them to be cruising down the highway?

And it’s been a while since we’ve had a reason to say this, but thanks to Sea World for putting up the stranded sharks! #onlyinflorida Also, in case you didn’t see it, just a few days ago another Florida Man tried to sell a live shark outside a supermarket. FWC decided to let him off with a warning (the shark was released).

News 13 image of shark rescue