Tag Archives: gray menace

The Large Penis Defense Worked! Richard Patterson Found Not Guilty

Richard Patterson

Richard Patterson

Richard Patterson, who’s attorney claimed that his girlfriend accidentally choked to death on his large member during oral sex, as opposed to being intentionally choked, has been found not guilty by a jury this afternoon. Patterson did not take the stand, but the Defense presented testimony from the former county medical examiner that her injuries could be consistent with choking to death on his member. Medical testimony from the state called that theory into question, but the associate medical examiner could not state for certain the manner of death. The jury was not able to find beyond a reasonable doubt that the death was murder, and Patterson is a free, well-endowed*, man.

In fact, his attorney conceded that the explanation of death while performing oral sex was unlikely, but shifted his focus that the death could have been from a heart attack or other accident. While her body was decomposed, her throat cartilage was not broken, leaving open the possibility of an accidental death. Prosecutors could not prove the cause of death, nor how long she had been dead, which complicated their burden of proof, on an extremely complicated case.

*Presumably well endowed, as the defense decided not to put his penis in evidence, nor to show it to the jury…

#onlyinflorida

Florida Man Arrested for Shuffleboard Fight

  • It was a real Shuffle-scuffle!
  • 81-year Old charged with Battery
herbert-hayden

Herbert Hayden- 81

Herbert Hayden, 81, a resident of St. Petersburg, got in an altercation at the Pinellas Park senior center over a game of shuffleboard and was charged with battery. Police allege Hayden struck another man, and that both of their sticks, or cues, as they are known amongst shufflers, were damaged. Unfortunately for prosecutors, officers indicate the “weapons” were not seized for evidence. I do not know how old the victim was, but if he is over 65, Mr. Hayden could potentially be facing a felony for battery on a senior citizen. I have seen prosecutors charge the felony on other senior citizens, but hopefully cooler heads will prevail.

This is the first charge I have seen using a shuffleboard cue as a weapon! #weirdbattery #graymenace

Naples Man Busted with Pants Down after Pooping on Floor #graymenace

Robert Predmore

Robert Predmore

Robert Predmore, 61, of East Naples, was caught after a burglary, his pants still down when the cops showed up. They found him lying outside Joey D’s bar, passed out on the ground… pantless. The bar looked “like a hurricane” had gone through: with thousands of dollars in damage, stolen liquor… and a poop on the floor next to an empty bottle of Sambuca. His soiled pants matched the evidence inside the store. The also found a handful of  prescription pills and a baggie of marijuana on Mr. Predmore.

That’s a helluva party to have by yourself.

Punta Gorda Woman Tries to Use 911 as a Dating Service

Maria Montanez-Colon

Maria Montanez-Colon

Maria Montanez-Colon made news in February when she called 911, looking for a cop to give her some extra duty. When the cop refused, she called 911 and asked them to send her another one! She went to jail for that incident for misuse of the 911 system. Well, she’s at it again, but this time she wasn’t so friendly with the cops, finally becoming verbally abusive. She has been booked back into the Charlotte County Jail for the same offense. Officers indicate alcohol was a factor both times, and apparently she has had trouble dealing with her husbands’ death. Hopefully, she can get some help.

http://www.nbc-2.com/story/24808583/woman-defends-her-actions-after-arrest-for-using-911-to-hit-on-officer

Murder Suspect Caught with Sex Aids

Michael Spiegel Mug Shot

Michael Spiegel Mug Shot

In a creepy twist to a gruesome double homicide at Fort Myers Beach last night, the deputies say they found a vibrator, lubricant, and sexual arousal medication on suspect Michael Spiegel, in addition to a gun, bloody knife, zip ties and duct tape. Spiegel, 70, is charged with two counts of first-degree murder in the death of his ex-wife Marilyn Spiegel and her fiance Harry Carlip. The couple was supposed to get married tomorrow (May 17).

Deputies caught Michael Spiegel walking away from the boat where the couple resided, wearing a long trenchcoat and carrying a briefcase. Witnesses indicate he was at the marina the day before, asking which boat was theirs. The stove burners were left on, which started a fire that deputies were able to extinguish. Spiegel is being held without bond on both murder counts, plus an additional arson charge.

Coupled with the capture of most-wanted fugitive Wesnel Isaac, on the lam for seven years, Lee County may have picked up two death penalty arrests in one night.

Wesnel Isaac

Wesnel Isaac Wanted Poster

Wesnel Isaac Now

Wesnel Isaac Now

#sexcrime #swfl #graymenace

Charlotte County is Still Setting up Homosexuals

Jerry DiGeronimo

Jerry DiGeronimo

88-year-old Jerry DiGeronimo was arrested for battery in a Charlotte County park yesterday. He allegedly approached an undercover deputy, and grabbed his crotch. What the police report doesn’t say is that the cop was probably hitting on him, essentially inviting the touching. The way the sting works, is that the cops send in an attractive cop, and he chats up the old guy until the old guy tries to take it to the next level. Instead of a lewd charge, they charge a battery, which isn’t really the crime committed. Charlotte County has done this set up on multiple occasions, the last time the police statement coyly said that the undercover officer made “casual conversation”. That’s dishonest: he went there to flirt with the guy, in hopes the guy would touch him so he could make an arrest.

That doesn’t exonerate the guy completely, public sex is still a crime, but the way these stings operate is backward. The cops could simply wait for actual crime to occur, then bust the culprits. But, why wait for crime when you can set up your own.

And to people who have sex in parks: don’t. It is not legal to expose yourself in public, much less engage in sexual activity. Dude, there could be kids in a park. Not cool.

Senior Citizen Arrested for Blocking Traffic to Get a Parking Spot #swfl

Carmen Torockiowas

Carmen Torockio

The gray menace continues its scourge in Southwest Florida. Yesterday at Bonita Beach park, 72-year-old Carmen Torockio was fed up with not being able to find a parking spot. He stopped his car in the lane of travel, backing up traffic. A deputy Came up and told him to move his vehicle, but he refused. After parking, the Deputy moved  in and told Torockio that he would be placed under arrest, but he continued to refuse to comply. He was booked into the Lee County Jail on misdemeanor charges.

Thank goodness that guy is off the streets. I doubt he’ll be so disrespectful to a deputy in the future. I mean, sure, it costs us money every time they book someone in jail, but I’m sure a ticket would not have sufficed. He might possibly could have been a dangerous individual You can’t be too safe when the Gray Menace are on the prowl…

Correction: the earlier version spelled the defendant’s name incorrectly “Torockiowas”, as it was written at one place in the NBC story.