Tag Archives: florida man

Florida Man Gets Naked and Attacks Couple with Rake

maurice castanedo3

Maurice Castaneda

Bill and Crystal Colwell were sitting at home minding their own business, when a naked man with a rake barged into their house. Crystal tossed a hatchet to her husband, but he grabbed a hammer out of his truck and “went to town” trying to fight the guy off. The guy, Maurice Castaneda, (or Castanedo) got several licks in with the rake, and Colwell suffered several lumps on the head and puncture wounds on his back and shoulder. The rake was shattered from the force of the attack.

maurice castanedo

Maurice Castanedo, via DOC

The Colwell’s suspect the suspect was on drugs. He retrieved his shorts from a nearby swamp and took off. Authorities called out the K-9 and helicopter, and were able to locate him a few streets over. He now faces charges for Burglary, Battery and Assault. Burglary with a Battery is a PBL (punishable by life offense) in Florida. I found a similar name in the Florida prison rolls: Maurice Castanedo has been to prison a couple of times: getting out for a robbery about 2 years ago. (There is another Castaneda, but that individual looks quite different- he happens to be on the sex offender registry). The distinctive Texas tattoo on this neck makes me fairly confident

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“Castanedo” via rapsheets.org

this ‘Castaneda’ is the same as the Castanedo in the prison photos. The recent release date indicates he may be subject to being sentenced as a Prison Releasee Reoffender.

He may plead insanity, or try to use intoxication as a mitigating factor. Normally, voluntary intoxication is not a defense- but if it makes you so crazy as to eliminate intent, they might have a claim! Most likely, he’ll be back in prison for quite a while…

Florida Man’s Greatest Hits of 2015

Another year, another 365 days of crazy exploits from Florida Residents. Esquire has compiled some of their favorites, here: http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/news/a40729/year-in-florida-man-2015/

Truck Full of Sharks Crashes

According to the News 13 story, they were Sandbar Sharks (or brown sharks), which are common. That begs the question for me, why did local law enforcement prosecute somebody for catching one of them, but it’s no problem for 5 of them to be cruising down the highway?

And it’s been a while since we’ve had a reason to say this, but thanks to Sea World for putting up the stranded sharks! #onlyinflorida Also, in case you didn’t see it, just a few days ago another Florida Man tried to sell a live shark outside a supermarket. FWC decided to let him off with a warning (the shark was released).

News 13 image of shark rescue

Florida Man makes it in New York (Times)

https://twitter.com/_FloridaMan

Fun story about the Florida Man Twitter feed. Nothing new to regular readers of this blog!

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/05/11/us/both-hapless-and-harebrained-florida-man-enlivens-internet.html?_r=0