Friday Fun on a Monday!
Newton (Kansas) police responded to reports of a naked man underneath a car. When they arrived, they say the man was trying to, ahem, stick his penis in the tailpipe of the vehicle. Police have requested charges for a lewd and lascivious act. The man was drunk, and probably on something else, and had to be tasered when he refused to stop having sex with the car.
SNL’s Colin Jost nailed it: “The sex was described as… exhausting.”
You could say it was… shocking.
I should point out that this case has the requisite lasciviousness likely to proceed criminal that do not appear to be there for the serial pooper we covered last week, or the vagrant pooper our police chief collared a while back.
And hey, two stories in a row that didn’t happen in Florida! #onlyinkansas #fridayfun : on Monday
Since Ford retired the Crown Victoria, Dodge chargers have increasingly become the go-to police cruiser. Jalopnik had a little fun today with the the new “face”:
Jalopnik.com screen capture
New Collier Patrol Vehicle (photo CCSO)
The Collier County Sheriff’s Office has unveiled new discreet patrol vehicles for traffic patrols. These “ghost cruisers” have more subdued markings than regular patrol vehicles, with the idea that they will be less noticeable and give deputies greater ability to observe without being noticed. The top light bar has a low profile, and side markings will be illuminated when hit by light.
Still, it’s not as impressive as the undercover mustang the Lee County Sheriff has. Actually, it’s not impressively stealthy. Some unmarked vehicles have their emergency lights inside or under the vehicle, and the cage in the front of the vehicle demands attention. Regardless, drive safe: big brother is watching.