Tag Archives: battery

Remember When the Mall Easter Bunny Got Arrested?

The scene, Edison Mall, 2006. They have an Easter Bunny area where families could come and get their picture taken with the Easter Bunny. 27 parents were lined up when the Bunny-manager decided to shut down for the day, 15 minutes early. One of the parents approached the manager and asked why, to which the manager replied, “because I felt like it”, and punched the mom in the face. When the bunny saw the manager involved in a fight, he jumped in and started punching the mom in the back of the head.

arthur mcclure easter bunny

Arthur McClure, the Rogue Rabbit

The Bunny, Art McClure, claims that he and the manager, his girlfriend, were acting in self-defense when the “mob of angry soccer moms” came after them. Ultimately, McClure was charged with misdemeanor battery and breach of the peace, and pled out  to time served on the charges a couple weeks later. The responding officer got statements from half a dozen of the parents, who all indicated McClure and his girlfriend were the aggressors. It’s like Bad Santa for another season!

It’s too bad that cell phone cameras were not as common then, and even the snapshots that were taken don’t seem to have made it to the internet. McClure’s listed occupation on the arrest report is “Easter Bunny”, though this was his last day on the job.

Man Beaten to Death with Fire Extinguisher

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Laciana Tinsley

This one leaves me speechless. Normally our weird battery stories don’t involve significant injury (excepting the death by wedgie), but this one tragically ends in death. Laciana Tinsley, a 42-year-old woman from New Jersey, beat her elderly husband to death with a fire extinguisher. She has been charged with murder, after he died as a result of multiple blows to the head.

Her attorney has indicated that she claims to have been acting in self-defense. He says there was a history of violence, and that the alleged victim was trying to suffocate her when the killing occurred.

#weirdbattery

Man Arrested for Attacking Man with Ramen Noodles

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Michael Herrick mug shot

We’ve had a lot of #weirdbattery cases that we’ve covered on Crimcourts, and quite a few of those have involved food. TSG reports a new one, as Michael Herrick was arrested this week for battery with ramen noodles. Apparently he’ll be claiming self-defense, as he told officers that his boyfriend threw water at him, first.

For the record, throwing water on someone could also be charged as battery. In Florida, battery is any unwanted, unlawful touching.. be it, food, drink or shopping cart.

Sadly, even though The Smoking Gun tracked down the police report, it doesn’t tell us what kind of ramen noodles were involved. I suspect Cup Noodles, but I’ll confess to being a Top Ramen guy…

ramen.jpgonly in Florida…

Florida Man Arrested for Shuffleboard Fight

  • It was a real Shuffle-scuffle!
  • 81-year Old charged with Battery
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Herbert Hayden- 81

Herbert Hayden, 81, a resident of St. Petersburg, got in an altercation at the Pinellas Park senior center over a game of shuffleboard and was charged with battery. Police allege Hayden struck another man, and that both of their sticks, or cues, as they are known amongst shufflers, were damaged. Unfortunately for prosecutors, officers indicate the “weapons” were not seized for evidence. I do not know how old the victim was, but if he is over 65, Mr. Hayden could potentially be facing a felony for battery on a senior citizen. I have seen prosecutors charge the felony on other senior citizens, but hopefully cooler heads will prevail.

This is the first charge I have seen using a shuffleboard cue as a weapon! #weirdbattery #graymenace

Man Accused of Beating people with his Prosthetic Arm… AGAIN!

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Joshua Stockinger

Talk about armed and dangerous… (sorry, couldn’t help myself). A Missouri man has been arrested and charged with multiple felonies after he took off his prosthetic arm and beat a couple during a road rage incident. Remarkably, he is already facing charges for doing the same thing to a law enforcement officer back in May.

This attack sounds serious, as one of the victims suffered broken legs from the incident. Bond has been set high this time, and hopefully he sits in jail long enough to learn a lesson this time around.

Hey Lawyers, Never Talk $#!t About Your Clients

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Former Browns QB Johnny Manziel

Johnny Manziel, who’s facing charges in Texas for allegedly striking his former girlfriend, was in court for a preliminary hearing. A reporter texted his attorney for a comment, and received a text back that appears kind of incriminating. The lawyer has indicated the text was meant for another attorney. Oops.

It’s bad practice to bad mouth your own clients… thought the temptation can be great on some criminal cases, but it’s a bad idea. It’s an even worse idea if you don’t pay attention who your texts are going to. Suggesting, say, that your client may have been doing something illegal might end up prejudicing your client if they decide to have him submit a pee test. That could be bad for the client, and for you.

Burrito Battery!

Remember that scene in Animal House? Everybody remembers the “Food Fight!” scene, right? Remember where the frat guy got hit with food, then he stabbed the girl through the hand with a fork? No? What… it didn’t happen that way? Somebody must be doing food fights wrong…

burrito food fight

Carl Smith and Suzanne Hurlvert

Only in Florida… a Crestview woman hit her boyfriend with a half-eaten Taco Bell Burrito Supreme. The man she burritoed, Carl Smith, retaliated by stabbing her in the hand with his fork, and embedded it so deeply that it required surgery to remove. After she got the fork out of her hand, Suzanne Hurlvert was also arrested, and charged with battery for striking Smith with the food item. She’ll be facing a misdemeanor, while Smith will be facing felony aggravated battery charges, and presumptive prison time.

 

We’ve covered a lot of food batteries here on Crimcourtseven a McChicken, but this is the first burrito I’m aware of! Click here for more weirdbattery