This happened a few years ago, so we’ll add it to the #weirdbattery only in florida archive (and even the #graymenace ) …
Alleged Noodler Karl Eichner
A man was arrested in Naples after allegedly attacking a woman with a pool noodle. Police say he got mad when she threw his watermelon in the ocean, and he filled up the noodle with sea water and dumped it on his head. He then punched her and authorities got involved. He was charged with misdemeanor battery. According to Collier Clerk records, he skipped his court date, and has not been heard from since… over 5 years on the lam, now.
crimcourts : A Criminal Law Blog 